Sebastian Rogers Missing - Ανάλυση Λόγου του πατριού του και σκιαγράφηση της προσωπικότητάς του

 

 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOcK7PE7ogw


 Ο Sebastian Rogers αγνοείται εδώ και 23 ημέρες. Η μητέρα του κι ο πατριός του έχουν δώσει πολλές συνεντεύξεις σε κανάλια στο YouTube. Η στάση τους έχει προκαλέσει αντιδράσεις και ερωτηματικά. Στην ανάλυση που ακολουθεί γίνεται αναφορά σε μουσικό συγκρότημα και τραγούδι γιατί στην πρώτη συνέντευξη ο πατριός μίλησε με ενθουσιασμό για την μουσική που άρεσε στον Sebastian, η οποία είναι η μουσική που ακούει κι αυτός. Στο βίντεο παρουσιάζεται μια σύντομη ανάλυση του Peter Hyatt και στο κείμενο μια συνοπτική ανάλυση που μου ζητήθηκε να κάνω.

  

SEBASTIAN ROGERS

If there was a soundtrack in this analysis, it would not be Pearl Jam or the Eye of the Tiger; it would be this one:

Children waiting for the day they feel good

happy birthday, happy birthday

made to feel the way that every child should

“sit and listen, sit and listen”

(Tears for Fears, Mad World)

 

Linguistic Profiling of Sebastian’s stepfather, based on a YouTube interview

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo8A2YHAvGc

 

Introduction

The interview begins with the hosts greeting the stepfather:

Host:  How are you?

Stepdad: I’m here. Every day is a struggle, but we make it.

Host: You wanted to clear the air, answer some questions, and we appreciate you taking the time to come here and do that.

Stepdad: You are welcome

A few minutes later:

Host: I hope Sebastian’s mum is OK

Stepdad: She’s right here with me. So, she can hear every single thing.

 

- The subject is asked to describe emotions and he replies with location.

Sebastian’s mum is OK as she is right here with him and that makes as wonder: is that all she needs to be OK? That is what the stepdad is saying.

- Even though the host says it was the stepfather’s wish to “clear the air”, he replies as if he were doing her a favor. We would expect him to be thanking her for giving him the opportunity to clear things up.

Main Attributes and Behavior Patterns

This is a very long interview, loaded with information. It is easier to describe the subject’s behavior patterns by examining his attitude, expressed in his own words, towards different people and groups of people.

Law Enforcement – TBI

The subject seems to be praising Law Enforcement for what they have done so far, even though 22 days later Sebastian has not been found and no one seems to know where he is and what happened to him. Let us listen:

“ TBI and Law Enforcement are actually anything and everything which way they can, they are doing their best to investigate, look, search any little thing and right now, we got no luck”.

- LE will need luck to find out what happened to Sebastian. Their abilities are not up to scratch and certainly not enough.

-We expect the parent of a missing child to be angry at the police when they haven’t found him after 22 days. That is not what the stepfather is expressing in this interview.

- On a superficial level his attitude seems like ingratiation, and it is likely that this is the purpose of this statement.

- When asked why the right clothes Sebastian was wearing are not reported in the Missing leaflet, he makes excuses for LE and does not seem to be concerned about them not updating the Missing poster. He dismisses it as a misunderstanding, as opposed to the biological father, who is frustrated about that mistake.

- He repeatedly mentions the TBI announcements about the case, in which they state that all three parents are extremely co-operative.

Despite his repeated attempts to ingratiate himself to the police, to the point where he expresses unity with them, his badly disguised contempt for them is evident.

Audience

Let us see what words he uses for his audience:

- He is thanking everyone who has contributed and has been part of this from the start to the current.

This is expected. In a case of a missing child one appreciates any help they can get.

- He wants to clear up some issues raised by the audience in general, to make them crystal clear, to clear the air, to make abundantly clear.

Is he someone who expects to be heard loud and clear?

- He repeatedly says he addresses people and questions.

“I have no problem to address this”

“Thank you for the questions”

- He repeatedly says “we pray for you and we love you

“We send out prayers and our love out to everyone, I promise you”

We would expect him to be asking the people to pray for Sebastian and for them, and not the opposite.

- When asked why he keeps laughing when he answers some questions, he said:

“It is tiresome, in a way it’s kind of funny that I get the same questions over and over and over. I respect them, I will answer them, okay, but trust me, by any means, is this fun? No, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, at all.

He does not speak as someone who is in need of help; instead his words depict him in a position of superiority. He stands above his audience while at the same time he uses ingratiation to control their responses to him. From this imaginary pedestal on which he stands, he is generous. He has a need to say:

“I never once stopped a person from having any opinion”

“I don’t mind people having their opinions”

 

His wife – Sebastian’s grandmother – Women in general

We know right from the start that his wife is OK as long as she is right there with him.

Let us see how his wife, sitting next to him, describes their relationship in this short quote. She was asked to describe what happened the night Sebastian went missing and she said among other things:

“We normally sit and talk each evening and I normally fall asleep on him and he’ll tell me, wake up, you know, you got to go to bed”.

Except for the fact that she does not answer the specific question and she says what they normally do, we would expect a couple that has to be apart for several days to talk on the phone at the end of the day.

Let us note how she said it and keep it in mind as we continue.

We also note that during the podcast he calls her “the mom”. He calls her my wife once and he doesn’t use her name. His linguistic disposition towards her is not positive. As “the mom” she could be the one to blame for lots of things, including Sebastian’s demeanor and what happened to him.

A statement from Sebastian’s grandmother was read during the podcast, in which she says that Sebastian was afraid of his stepdad and he was bullied by him.  She also said that she was verbally abused by him. This is how the stepfather responds to this:

-me and the grandmother had a conversation

-she has never sat down with me, my wife and her son and gotten the full truth of everything

- we had a heated conversation

The grandmother did not sit down with him, as his wife does.

- I have always left that door open

- I’ve made it abundantly clear that the door is always open

The stepfather is a gatekeeper. Let us keep that in mind combined with his other statements about Sebastian “walking out the door”, or of Sebastian “walking through that door” when he comes back.

- Regarding an incident with his ex wife: “She got nasty, I retaliated

Women should sit and listen or talk to him. He needs to be standing above them. if they get nasty, he will retaliate.

 

Sebastian

“His weakness is he does not have a sense of personal space. He likes to be right up in your face. Hey, you know, hello”

“He’ll screw up and be in trouble”

What he calls friends (he chuckles), he’s not in normal classes, if they talk to him, he considers them friends.”

“I wished he had a lot of friends” (he laughs)

And the most heartbreaking:

We asked him, what do you want for Christmas? I just want friends

 

Parenting (excerpts from the book “Father of the year”)

- “Our house, it is strict, it stays locked down to that kind of situation” (regarding internet use)

Note that the house is strict, not him as a parent.

-Responding to the grandmother’s statement:

“You said that Sebastian is afraid of me? Well, that is a loaded question because somebody who has released some information out there allowed somebody to say something, now mind you, when you have a teenage child or teenage children, all parents know this, your children are not gonna like you because you’re not there to be their best friend…”

- “You sit your kids down and you explain you have to do things they don’t like, that’s your legacy, that’s your job

- “When a kid gets in trouble…”

- “We talk to each other, this is his behavior, this is the punishment he has received, if you want to continue with that at your house and vice versa, we are extremely respectful to each other”

-About dinner time: I don’t have a set time on that

-Responding to the question: how do you direct his meltdowns.

SF: “Sometimes me and him go outside and we’ll have a discussion, like tell me what’s on your mind dude, I’ll give you free rein, talk to me, let it out, if that helps you, just say it.”

M: “Cause he doesn’t want to curse in front of Mama.”

SF: (laughs) “Don’t ever do it in front of Mama, that’s all I’m asking, but if you and I go out somewhere and you wanna do it, I’ll give you the no, no consequences, I’ll give you some time to do your thing…”

- It is evident and expected that Sebastian could be cursing a lot at times, and having temper tantrums. One wonders how that made his stepdad feel.

- The stepfather repeatedly mentions “rules” and “consequences”.

He also repeats the phrase: “you get in trouble, you don’t like your parents”.

“ You’re not gonna like it”

He says that it takes Sebastian 20 minutes to realize his behavior and then “he will cry and say, I’m sorry, I love you”.

Children should sit and listen to him.

- Although he is very vocal about his parenting tactics, which he does not doubt at any point, he loses his voice and has absolutely nothing to say when someone asks: “why did you put him outside in the dark as a punishment?”

- Both he and Sebastian’s mother did not answer the question: Who does he love the most, who is his favorite person? After a pause, he said that it depends on the day, his mood and what he did with a specific parent.

Describing himself

 The stepfather has repeatedly described himself as brash, direct and respectful.

One should ask him to define these words. What does he do when he is brash? How does he show respect?

Additional Points of Interest

- The subject avoids answering any questions regarding his daughter’s relationship with Sebastian and if he wants them to communicate. He diverts.

- The subject provides a strange reply to the question: Did you pass a polygraph test?

He says: Yes and the results are passed.

This is not the same as: Yes, I did, and I passed it.

It is passive language and he has a need to say that he considers “you” to be plural but he won’t reveal who did and when but he will say everything has been vetted.

- The subject states that the legal system and Karma will determine what will happen to anyone who may have abducted Sebastian.

- The subject shows no concern about Sebastian, he is focused on himself and uses the pronoun “me” first in any sentence that includes other people. he is cold, unemotional and does not even use his name once, in any interview he has given.

- The subject seems to be amused by points raised which would cause heartbreak and worry to anyone with the least amount of empathy.

 

Conclusions

-The subject uses the adjective “respectful” to describe himself, as well as Sebastian’s biological parents. He is someone who seems to value respect as a component of any relationship. It would be a good idea to ask him to define respect and explain how he thinks one should earn it, and if indeed respect is earned or imposed on someone.

 Is he someone who will force people around him to respect him, imposing rules and regulations?

What will happen to anyone who fails to respond with what he considers a respectful attitude?

Is it a prerequisite for anyone in his immediate environment to be sitting while talking to him or listening to him talk or explain in order to show respect?

He seems to have sets of rules, followed by unknown to us consequences if they are not obeyed.

Most important, what would his reaction be every time Sebastian had that “up in your face” attitude instead of “sitting” and listening?

Children need rules from an early age. They are important for their safety but also for their emotional development and the purpose of learning boundaries.

Children also need to feel safe, loved, heard, appreciated and connected to people of their environment, especially their parents.

The ways to teach children the necessary rules, especially during adolescence, vary depending on the parents’ attitude, emotions and whether there is a previously successfully built relationship between them and their parents.

An autistic child can be a challenge for even the most loving and conscientious parents. They will need the help of professionals and they need a lot of patience to overcome everyday problems and difficult situations.

A stepfather who demands respect expressed in this particular way, who speaks again and again about Sebastian getting in trouble, about punishment and consequences instead of speaking about patience and acceptance and seeking help and guidance to overcome challenges is not someone who seems to be capable to teach a child with Sebastian’s needs anything.

Judging by the many times he laughs during his interviews and his comments about Sebastian’s friends and his attitude, we can conclude that he had no feelings for him he considered him amusing at times but mostly  a burden and someone who should be subdued into obedience. He is not a person who would tolerate disrespect.

He does not show any concern for Sebastian and what he may be going through at this time.

- The stepfather needs to be heard, more specifically, to be listened to.

This becomes evident in his words and the time he spent in this particular interview talking about himself.

He thinks he can manipulate everyone and talk his way out of any situation. He needs an audience and he needs to control the narrative. It may have worked for him earlier in life, even as a child and he is accustomed to doing it successfully for years. It may also be indicative of other things that have happened during his childhood. He surely did not get the respect and appreciation he needed at some stage of his development.

This incessant but indirect self praising while his stepson is still missing is motivated by his need to control people’s perception as he does with his immediate environment. It is a need to control everyone and everything so that he will be able to alleviate the feeling of insecurity he has.

People with these characteristics form relationships which are, by definition, manipulative, exploitative, menacing, confusing, and finally, isolating. The process is gradual and subtle at the beginning, but when they acquire more and more control over time they manage through degradation of their victims to achieve the place on the imaginary pedestal, from which they will scour for any sign of inappropriate behavior.

An autistic child who has specific needs, requires specific attention and can have unexpected reactions is a real challenge for people like him. If he cannot get respect, he will instill fear because this is the only way he can conquer his rival. Because Sebastian was a rival who challenged his supremacy, maybe made him feel humiliated at home or in public, made him feel shame and in general blemished the image the subject wanted to project to the world.

He can now project his superiority to audiences far and wide, sure he can manipulate them and he seems to be relishing every moment and be amused by people’s reactions.

He is the narrator and the main character in this drama.

He now has an audience who will Sit and Listen.


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